All You Can Kill (Unabridged)

White Lotus meets Shaun of the Dead in this absurdist take on the wellness retreat.
Our narrator and his accidental companion, K. Sohail, find themselves on an island wellness retreat impersonating the Dhaliwals, who have probably been killed in a helicopter crash. After being welcomed by Jerome the robot, the intrepid imposters eagerly partake of the all-you-stomach buffet, the motivational speechifyings of self-help guru Brad Beard, and Professor Sayer's uncomfortably erotic couples counselling.
But things quickly take an ominous turn when an excursion to a nearby deserted village reveals a guillotine and a haunted chapel. And then one of the retreaters is murdered and the real Dhaliwals show up. Accusations, counter-accusations, and counter-counter-accusations are made, until the whole retreat is caught up in a bizarre trial.
In All You Can Kill, Pasha Malla, with his inimitable absurdist style, collides horror and humour into an utterly unforgettable satire.
"Smart, hilarious, original, All You Can Kill is a feverish, one-of-a-kind, unhinged journey into the absurd shams of modern life. No one writes satire, or anything else, like Pasha Malla." - Iain Reid, author of We Spread